Posts Tagged ‘rant’

for those of you who didn’t notice yet

November 14, 2013

The project is far from dead, I just update the Facebook more often than the blog because I feel less guilty about reposting images or self-promoting as smoke signals.

Book 3 is over 80k words in, and I say that because at that specific point, I stopped counting: I just want to focus on telling the story now.

But I have priorities. I can’t afford to take time out of what I do to make a living in order to do what doesn’t reward me with anything physical (and any of you who knows me on a personal level should be aware of how much I care about my readers). I don’t do 11-hour shifts standing up every day anymore, I don’t carry traveler’s luggage and get threatened at booths for doing my job anymore either. I’m not complaining of the work I’m doing at the moment, I’m proud of it. But my health situation is far from great and my current line of work is very time-consuming. So there’s that.

It’s that simple: my job keeps me fed and warm. Unfortunately, right now, TLoSR doesn’t. Being fed and warm are necessities, so they trump things that are not, such as writing the story I am still obsessed about to the point I have over 20 story arc outlines, 3 long-running spin-offs as well as a rough draft of the movie script ready right now and I still don’t think it’s enough because I know that it could still be done better if I was a better writer or planner, but that only makes me want to take more time working on it so I try to push the thought away. If I have to choose between doing my best now in what can improve my life or a book series I can resume or finish writing at any moment, now or ten years from now as long as I am functioning (and I can maximize my chances, if not guarantee that will be the case by prioritizing my job)… it should be obvious which one I’ll pick, right?

So yeah, not mad about people assuming I’m dead or being disappointed that I couldn’t stick to the unspoken ideal of a book a year. Really, I get it. I had to go through that with authors before. But guys, please remember I’m┬áliterally making less than any author on Earth that gets paid even a single penny for his time invested on his or her work because I am making zero dollars out of this. None. It might come across as odd to people who met me when I would take any task someone gave me and try to save the whole world on my own, but I am a person and part of what I consider to be my growing up process involved learning that.

I’m sorry I can’t behave as professionally regarding this as I wish I could or have in the past, and I don’t mean to be rude but my point with bringing up money again and again is I don’t owe any of you books. Now, I’m not going to be a spoiled brat and pretend I don’t need your feedback because I appreciate you guys being here and I know it’d be nice if I could release content every other week or so. God knows I’m working on something like that, even if by working I mean “thinking very hard about the subject until it materializes”. I am also not going to say I just write them to myself, because it’s a ridiculously silly excuse. I recognize that I could be better if I wasn’t worried about something else that, in my opinion, takes priority and I take full responsibility for it. But me accepting that responsibility doesn’t entitle anyone to demand anything from me. It might be written for the public, but it’s still mine. I don’t remember signing a contract with any of you. Not even with my former editor, who I still see as a esteemed friend, but didn’t get involved with the project ever since early volume 2.

I will not belittle or ridicule any of you, call people “haters” or threaten to cancel the project if I receive more of those messages simply because I’m not a fansubber, so that behavior would not be considered acceptable. Our up-until-now unspoken agreement remains the same: I write stories if/when I can or choose to do so and you read them if/when you can or choose to do so. Unless, of course, we can get a significant number of people to sign some sort of contract that legally binds them to consume my work on specific dates. I’d enjoy that a lot, to be honest.

Heaven’s territory is coming.