it won’t die

January 26, 2012

Last scene still not over, book at 67k words now, depresses me to no end and God knows I don’t need help in that department. Which is ironic, considering there hasn’t been a time in my life I have ever smiled this much.

insanity is a valid hypothesis but makes for a poor theory

However, the wordcount makes me proud, as I was struggling to get to 50k not long ago. I know I just put a lot of plot happening all at once (condensing what would be the third book on it by merging it with the plot of d.m.c. and getting rid of all the filler parts) in the last chapter, much more than last time and way less than the next one. If I ever write it, because the stress this puts on me (no need to blame my editor who has been quite comprehending in his stern ways, arguably because he knows what’s going to happen on book 3 and on) along with working the whole day and worrying like I never did… it should be my darkest hour and still I find myself happy like I never were before at least in one aspect so above me that seems to make up for everything.

You make me want to keep on fighting.

Writing this manuscript has been overwhelming to say the least. Good or bad, however I feel on this emotional rollercoaster, I am thoroughly exhausted. As long as it’s not done with I know I can’t rest for real. Wish I could say I was doing it for the art in all honesty.

This is to tear the story apart: “first week case” was about qualities, power and overcoming challenges but “d.m.c.” is about flaws, weakness and losses. First creation, followed by deconstruction. The next step is obvious to anyone, literary critic, comic book aficionado, fighting video game expert or mid-life crisis divorced woman.

Reconstruction. Batman: Year One. The third and final round of a match. Second love.

To bring the initial passion back, accepting that not all is bright and shiny but it isn’t just dark and gritty either. Both exist mutually and make this world what it is regardless of the people living in it: rich of color. And then, only then, it’s up to you to change it to bring it not closer to ideal but to what is right.

Being alive is terrifying and it is wonderful too; balance is absolute.

7 Responses to “it won’t die”

  1. GJsoft Says:

    However, the wordcount makes me proud, as I was struggling to get to 50k not long ago. <— sounds like a fellow NaNoWriMo contestant.
    *is currently abusing his brand new copy of scrivener*

  2. thatguyfroma Says:

    The book, or at least the unedited version, was completed at 71.240 words. And yes, I tried NaNoWriMo in order to complete this very same novel by adding 50k words of original text and failed hard but learned a lot.

    Scrivener? I heard about it. They don’t seem to have a Windows version, but sounds like a great piece of software. I want to read your writing when you feel ready to show me some, especially because if you write as well as you draw this is bound to be wonderful.

    • GJsoft Says:

      In fact, they recently released a Windows version which is the one I got.
      Anyway, I’d gladly share some writing, prerequisite being that I manage to shape up my writing to a level that is barely satisfying. :’D
      And about the Ryo pic… Well, the imagehost I used for years got hacked and the database couldn’t be restored so I probably lost it. Maybe there’s still a copy lying aroundsomewhere on my PC though. Oh well, I’ve been thinking of doing some more fanart with eventually a slightly altered designs.
      Anyway, really glad you managed to finish the novel. You had me scared for a moment there.

      • thatguyfroma Says:

        That’s good information, MS Word is hardly what I would call reliable especially when it comes to keeping the formatting intact.

        While I do believe editing is the key that takes works from utter crap to masterpieces, remember you are just showing your work to me, whose novels could easily have been written by a monkey with a thesaurus. No need to be worried, ok? I might be extremely critical, but never without having constructive intent in it.

        Sorry to hear about the imagehost but oh, I like the sound of more absolutely-insane-quality fanart. I like it quite a lot.

        You were not the only one, I guarantee you. My editor was quite worried as well, and I was considerably more stressed as the date I was supposed to deliver the final manuscript arrived and it was almost done, as it had been for a month. Then came the internet and power outages that lasted hours. Upset as I was, it mentally prepared me for the cathartic, unusual battle.

      • GJsoft Says:

        A bit unrelated, but still a slightly fun fact:
        Funnily enough, I’ve kept imagining kouma with a messy, neck-lenght haircut, the hair being a bleakish blonde(or maybe more of a light brown?) until I’ve reread some of the earlier passages that described her appearance.
        I wonder why.

      • GJsoft Says:

        Oh and I’d recommend checking out Ommwriter which is quite a handy tool for someone with the attention span of— oh hey, a butterfly.
        One of those fullscreen word rrocessors with a good audio-visual presentation.
        Worth a try, I’d say. May help a bit.

      • thatguyfroma Says:

        Regarding Kouma’s appearance, kyuu got the same vibe before reading the novel. I guess she is just one of “those” characters.

        Sounds terrific, will definitely try it. Thank you very much.

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