Last scene still not over, book at 67k words now, depresses me to no end and God knows I don’t need help in that department. Which is ironic, considering there hasn’t been a time in my life I have ever smiled this much.
insanity is a valid hypothesis but makes for a poor theory
However, the wordcount makes me proud, as I was struggling to get to 50k not long ago. I know I just put a lot of plot happening all at once (condensing what would be the third book on it by merging it with the plot of d.m.c. and getting rid of all the filler parts) in the last chapter, much more than last time and way less than the next one. If I ever write it, because the stress this puts on me (no need to blame my editor who has been quite comprehending in his stern ways, arguably because he knows what’s going to happen on book 3 and on) along with working the whole day and worrying like I never did… it should be my darkest hour and still I find myself happy like I never were before at least in one aspect so above me that seems to make up for everything.
You make me want to keep on fighting.
Writing this manuscript has been overwhelming to say the least. Good or bad, however I feel on this emotional rollercoaster, I am thoroughly exhausted. As long as it’s not done with I know I can’t rest for real. Wish I could say I was doing it for the art in all honesty.
This is to tear the story apart: “first week case” was about qualities, power and overcoming challenges but “d.m.c.” is about flaws, weakness and losses. First creation, followed by deconstruction. The next step is obvious to anyone, literary critic, comic book aficionado, fighting video game expert or mid-life crisis divorced woman.
Reconstruction. Batman: Year One. The third and final round of a match. Second love.
To bring the initial passion back, accepting that not all is bright and shiny but it isn’t just dark and gritty either. Both exist mutually and make this world what it is regardless of the people living in it: rich of color. And then, only then, it’s up to you to change it to bring it not closer to ideal but to what is right.
Being alive is terrifying and it is wonderful too; balance is absolute.